Warning: the following stream of consciousness results from a personal demand upon myself to write. Coupled with the mandate that once written it needs to be said, you are privvy to a rare open heart - much sentiment, but no guarantee of logic.

Here we are again, getting swept into the maelstrom of life as the sweet idyllic peace from the Christmas break rapidly fades as realities force their way back into my presence. Mid February and we are at full steam. This is great from a professional perspective, however at odds with the priorities I would like to afford to other aspects of my life. It seems that the secret to being "normal" is to give an appearance of balancing life's competing demands whilst walking the razor's edge within the mind between coping and imploding!!!

I read Ray Comfort's autobiography two weeks ago and it brought home the truth of the temporal realm. The need for an eternal focus as a priority, but this needs to be balanced against the competing demands of relationships, sustenance, ambition, pride, routine.

Do I worry too much about the little things? Who says they are little? If they cause internal debate then your judgement does not include an understanding of the impact of all that happens externally upon my internal being. When did you last care? How do you know who I am today? Can you assume that I am the same as the last time that you knew me? Who are you anyway??

Current activities to absorb my time and energy, thereby relegating the real questions to a pile titled "really important to do, but he's not smart enough to realise how much better (i was going to write easier, but God has given no guarantees of ease) life could be if he would have the guts to address them):"

1. half marathon next Sat.
2. first assignments due in 4 weeks.
3. finding a placement for teaching prac in second semester.
4. preparing briefing papers for industrial determination rulings (also known as doing my job).
5. changing the oil in my car when I get home tonight.
6. attending a writers' festival tomorrow where Frank McCourt will talk about Teacherman.
7. gritting my teeth to get through Church on Sunday.

Next time I will populate the list:

"really important to do, but he's not smart enough to realise how much better (i was going to write easier, but God has given no guarantees of ease) life could be if he would have the guts to address them):"

If you have read this far, thankyou for caring.