The Two-Day Weekend Becomes A Day of Work for Self and a Traditional Sabbath

This year K and I have determined that the humanistic philosophy of five days of work and two days of leisure does not become us. Probably more out of the reality of needing to spend Saturday doing all the work for ourselves that the working week schedule does not allow us to get done Mon to Fri. But it was nice for a short while to consider ourselves Pharisaic in our application of the law to our lifestyles! I am feeling very religious about the work ethic on the Sabbath though.

Recognition in the law of lifestyle aspects that apply, out of necessity or choice, in a modern world is sometimes interesting, sometimes shocking. What about tithing? Why not give one day a fortnight to full time service instead of work. Does that qualify as one tenth, one twelth or one fourteenth? Why does all giving end up being boiled down to dollars? And can I really claim a mouldy sandwich in my lunchbox as a modern day version of the temple showbread?!

Tomorrow I start a further commitment for this year, despite my subconscious mantra of deciding to become as disinstitutionalised as possible. I will be the leader in Sunday School opening time. Quite ironic, given my perceived lack of children skills. Maybe my childlike heart will help. Oh to be more childlike in the areas that really matter.

Committed to writing but should be committed in writing

So I have chastised myself to be more disciplined and write as frequently as I can, not as frequently as I feel the urge. This requires some commitment and sacrifice – of time and attention (from competing demands) and the creativity to have something to say!!!

Now which is the more challenging?

And if the challenge exists for the writer, what level of challenge must exist for the reader? Are there any readers? How would I know? Would it really matter? Is it enough to know that someone might read, that thoughts have been recorded for possible consumption?

Perhaps it is enough to know that I am holding myself accountable and a quasi public record of achievement (or not) is enough of a reason.

Today K is back into the classroom and I know that means time and emotion stolen from our relationship. Perhaps stolen is too strong a word, for it implies a loss beyond control. More like a redirection from one aspect of our world and invested in another. That is how all decisions of priority need to be viewed. We should not be doing anything we do not want to, for if we are not investing in areas according to a priority we influence, then our time, effort, attention and emotion are being stolen from us.

The next question then is the criteria used to determine the priority list, and what happens to those issues that do not make the list? What if we still consider them “needful things” but have no heart in them? Just like the Stephen King novel of the same name, perhaps what we consider needful may not be at all.

Time to spiritualise – obvious connection in all this of temporal versus eternal aspects of all we do on our priority list! If our heart is set and our attitudes shaped by our relationship with God there should be no conflict.

Funny how a fallen world and a sinful nature can remove the logic from a should be!

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Another week older, but no more mature

Another week older, but no more mature

Another week nearly over
Another seven days closer to quitting this earthly realm
Another seven days less to make meaning of my life
Another seven days less to make a difference

But this past seven days did make a difference
Invested in relationships with my Pastors
Poured long purposeful hours into work
Played much backgammon with K and suffered both the consequences of victory and defeat
Reminded of the need to depend less on material surety and more on faith
Enjoyed the pleasure of early mornings, late nights, fulfilled weariness and new music
Experienced the joy and tension of a father’s account of playing the tooth fairy, fearful of discovery
Became jealous that I don’t have a scarf story
Wondered if I would ever get to grow up

Growing up is all relative, or is it dependent on relatives, namely your own children. Perhaps the absence of any younger generation in our house predisposes the mean maturity level to sink lower as no veneer of formality, responsibility or example setting is required.

K reminds me occasionally that I am in need of a reality check, but unless I ever live the restless sleep of responsibility for the next generation I think I can continue to bluff her and abide in my dream world.

I mean, I have been doing it at work for years!

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Rejoice, Rejoice, and again I say Rejoice

Tonight at prayer meeting we crashed through Philipians - the whole book in 30 minutes to be reminded that we are called to rejoice as Christians. A real conviction and challenge to my pessimistic, melancholic, malaise infected heart. The challenge once again is balance – how to maintain a realistic mindset of external circumstance and obligations whilst remaining encouraged by the promises of God.

To be Christ like
To be like minded
To consider oneself no higher than another
To be an example, unspoken before my brother.

Finally felt that we got some traction at work today, starting to get some momentum on issues, instead of drowning under a flood of new concerns.

K made the best choc chip biscuits yesterday – a real power kick this afternoon in the office.

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Emotional motion emits emotive motives

Several events have occurred recently which continue to form ideas and feelings within me which, although seminal at this stage, are an evolutionary advance* on subliminal simmerings.

*(although scientifically speaking evolution through mutation involves the loss of information, not the gaining or further development of it)

Contentment (thanks Janet! - ever ready to pose a question out of the blue) – continually challenged in this area. So much to be thankful for, but still feeling that so much is missing. Needing to put what is currently in place, in its place ie perspective.

I have started my new job, which involves a positional promotion and increased responsibilities. It is nice to have ability and potential recognised, but highlights the need to have your heart in what you are doing. At the moment I feel that work drags me away from the desires of my heart: the challenge of career versus ministry, reconciling the everyday as the Fourth Frontier (ministry in vocation, as opposed to ministry as vocation).

Last night we went and saw Jars of Clay in concert. I had not listened to a lot of their music, but awesome sound and performance. As is usually felt at all big concerts (seeking the applause of man in my own life!), the awe of popularity and ability in this life; and the need to remember that one-day we will all be equally talented, as we are recreated in His image. Encouraged to see young people excited over Christian art form, but wondered how much is entertainment and the need for balance.

As always my darling K balances my melancholy with quiet enthusiasm and constructive support when needed. As she continues the last week of her holidays before 22 Grade 5s rule her life again, I pray that she gains the rest and reserve she will need to see her through the coming 10 weeks.

Crowning achievement this week: the growing pile of firewood in the front yard in preparation for the coming winter ( 7 trailer loads and 5 litres of two stroke). Low 30s this week ahead, but track suits and ugh boots today on the mountain!!

Disappointment: the dog has started digging in the front lawn again.

Solution: cover entire lawn with firewood!

Now you are being ridiculous.

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New Year, New Cheer

New Year, New Cheer

So I am winding up my time away from vocational obligation and making the most of my last 4 days at home before work starts again. Time on the road with family has drawn K and I away from our normal routine and into a surreal world of family survival, fitting in with other people's domestic routines, being fraternally polite for harmony's sake. But now back home normal routine, household running and personal administration must be resumed.

And I am faced with the list of jobs that remain undone and have to be out of the road before work distracts me mentally and physically.

Coming back to my real world, I am returning to the routine of worship and meditation, of centreing spiritually where holiday routine has "uncentred" me.

The gradual realisation that in the New Year there is no New Cheer save for that which has carried my spirit throughout the last - that is the strength that the Lord offers if we would allow him.

Read an old quote in a diary entry last note - God can only do impossible things when he has crushed impossible people - I don't want to be crushed and I try not to be impossible. Praise God for his patience.

Books read this break:

Surgeon of Crawthorn - Simon Winchester
If You Want to Write - Brenda Ueland
Secret Lives - Australian 2003 short story anthology
A Lawyer's Life - Johnny Cochrane

Enough philology - real world beckons

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Finally back home

Finally back home, half day pit stop before driving up the road to my ma and pa's for dad's 60th birthday celebrations. Holidays are tiring - next week is already full of friends and family and then it is back to work for a break!!!

Jealous and Ashamed

A friend of ours has been fighting cancer for several years now. He has cancer through parts of his body and is now in the process of undertaking "last gasp" chemo. His bone marrow tests are clear so there is hope.

Prayers for him this day and onwards.

His situation makes me jealous and Ashamed.

He has an out from this fallen stage, the corrupted coffin of our journey and I sometimes wish it was mine. He may have an opportunity to walk away from this world and into the next, away from the daily hassle of responsibility, uncertainty, the sweat of the brow to till the earth.

Is that unfaithful, ungrateful. It makes me shameful.

But he may not see his children grow.
He may not grow old with his life companion.
He may not reflect on the challenges won and the trials lost.
He may not know the outcome of his age.
He may not see his Saviour return.

Chad,
lead the way
lead with courage
let us be there for you.

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By the way Happy New Year, or should that be faithful new year, prophetic fulfillment new year, loving new year, patient new year, thankful for my wife new year.

Tropical TANtrums and Periodical POSTscripts

(sorri Andrew but I need to title my blogs for my own sanity)

So here I am trading a quiet Christmas at home relaxing in the mountains with the sounds of nature around me for a sweltering tropical interlude with the in-laws. The sounds of cicadas, cane-toads and a myriad of other creatures that reside within vast expanses of cane fields contrast against the holiday traffic that passes on the "back road"that runs by the farm - a back road that sounds as busy as most highways I have traveled.

But there lies the object lesson. On holidays - I thought- time to reflect down the personal back roads, the tracks that remain untravelled throughout the year. But when a stroll is undertaken to clear the steadily increasing undergrowth, to clean the cobwebs away that invariably cross at face height, I am surprised by the amount of traffic traveling to the destinations I have become unfamiliar with throughout the year, traffic that I have not intended to share a short journey with. So as I planned to spend time relaxing, enjoying the liberation from work and household commitments, I find I cannot find that space, I cannot break the tension within that normally shackles me to routine and obligation.

"Be still and know that I am God"
"Take no thought for tomorrow"
"Be anxious for nothing"
"In everything give thanks"

Meaningless instruction - should that be commands - unless claimed as promises for the payoff promised (then again what right do we have to expect anything in return for our efforts).

Enough banter - time to steel myself for the onslaught of increased family starting tonight!

Trying to remember the real reason for the season (Cliche) in a world that has no time or reason to give honour

Happy holidays!!!!Bah humbug:-)

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no constraints or constrictions on time or actions

So he has no constraints or constrictions on time or actions, a feeling of freedom as temporary independence removes him from the daily domestic duty of relationship and reality. He takes an opportunity to give in to a selfish urge as the sensual draws him towards the forbidden delight of his own decisions and actions. His own time. His own agenda. No need for accountability.

How does he feel when the desire to please himself is juxtaposed against the martyrdom of a Nigerian Pastor and the jailing of a Vietnamese congregation. Fretting over the need to plan a Christmas family reunion and the evil of meeting air fares, whilst for the sake of their belief in a Saviour others have no family, home or sustenance.

Pathetic Western lifestyle. Comfort zone denying the reality of suffering all for the Cross.

no excuses, just the way it is

no excuses, just the way it is

So it is Sunday night and for the first time in a long time I have felt connected in worship, both socially and spiritually on a Sunday morning. What annoys is that I had to experience it without K - washed out and run down.

Tomorrow starts six weeks on ROAC - a necessary evil. At least I don't have to travel to attend. A chance to catch up with old mates, escape from the office and the daily shuffle which can sap the soul.

So Andrew has had a hair cut - quite ironic given my recent jibing.

Nothing profound today, except to say that a nostalgic tour down pop cultural lane tonight with an Aussie Rock retro documentary highlights pride in wanting achievement and recognition in this life. Why do we feel optimistic when faced with a time past, a reflection on missed opportunities? Is it bad? Ambition must be grounded in ensuring that I must decrease and He must increase.

Little inconveniences and lessons in life

(just lost most of this blog due to FFL - finger fault local - spewin! A lesson in life learnt whilst writing about a lesson in life!!!)

Anyway, as I have already typed!?! - Yesterday I locked my keys in the car at work. I did not realise until it was time to go home. I had finished late as it was so my sense of humour was taking severe hits. I had left the window down about an inch and a half and the keys were in the ignition.

I spent 25 minutes breaking into my car, the frustrating aspect being that it only took me 20 seconds to unlock the car - once I had figured out how to do it.

Tried with a coat hanger to unlock the door, but the locking lever would not flip over. Tried with the coat hanger to remove the keys from the ignition - to no avail, the angle was not quite right.

In effect tried two different solutions using the same method!

However, when it dawned on me to use a ruler to exert more pressure on the door lock, in no time at all I had access. ie, my first solution was successful, but required a different method.

Thus the axiom dawns - when faced with challenges we can either try different solutions with the same method, or different methods to achieve the same solution. Ed De Bono would have had a field day.

Is this profound? or just vague ramblings. Doesn't matter, but next time a framework for problem solving is required at least there is something to think about.

More importantly, there must be a spiritual application somewhere in there. Surely God has simple single solutions to situations that he wants to use us to achieve. Who chooses to be used is up to us. We therefore become his different methods.

What about the issue of omniscience and He being outside of time, knowing the end before the beginning? What about self-determination and free will? Individually we may be a single method but applicable to achieving different solutions that are within His will. Some things need to just be accepted until all will be revealed.

Too deep for a Fri afternoon. Not really, for the simple things in life should not confound us. Want too deep? Try this, the subject of my mental powers and academic attention for the next two weeks, hopefully at the end of which a paper will fall out!?!

Is Information and Technology Superiority relevant in the 21st century battlespace when adversaries adopt 19th and 20th century strategies?

Message on Sunday was reassuring

Message on Sunday was reassuring - if Christ suffered so much personally, why do we need to be so sensitive to suffering for our faith. Reinforced the maxim "don't take rejection, contention, suffering, persecution for your faith personally" - only then can we love our enemies, for revenge, a sense of justic, personal pride will not stand between us and them, or them and the salvation message.

Power and Passion

I felt all morning like writing, sat down, logged on and my mental capacity has deserted me!

What gives us power and what generates our passion?

Is our passion fuelled by that which enpowers us, or must we be passionate about something before it will provide us with power?

A Christian perspective might lead to the power coming from our passion - we have been told to seek first the kingdom of God, all things can be done through Christ who strengthens us, set our mind on things above. This is where our focus will provide the fight - if our direction and desires are sound, the strength will follow.

So a life empty of passion will suffer from the need to be empowered.

Stand for something or fall for anything.

A two minded man is unstable in all his ways. (A non minded man will likewise suffer).

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Good friends over last night for dinner. Getting late, fading fast, push through for an eternal value lies in meaningful discussion that the desire for sleep would rob me of.

The four year old perspective on the world continues to enlighten my grumpy eyes. It is easy to lose a cheery disposition when you have no presence requiring you to maintain it, apart from yourself and a long suffering spouse. The responsibility of caring for and sharing in a child's life, even for a short while as protector, guide, teacher, is an honour. Thank you Tullie for being a special part of my life.

A Worthy Task

Dear Lord, I do not ask
That Thou should’st give me some big work of Thine,
Some noble calling, or some wondrous task.
Give me a little hand to hold in mine;

Give me a little child to point the way
Over the strange, sweet path that leads to Thee;
Give me a little voice to teach to pray;
Give me two shining eyes Thy face to see.

The only crown I ask, dear Lord, to wear
Is this: that I may teach a little child.

I do not ask that I may ever stand
Among the wise, the worthy, or the great;
I only ask that softly, hand in hand,
A child and I may enter at the Gate.

Perspective of a Four year old

The weekend was spent visiting with family, Mum, Dad, sister and brother in law and two neices. We came home with an extra piece of luggage - in the shape of a four year old. How the world changes when you are exposed to the perspectives of one so full of optimism and adventure.

This morning it snowed during breakfast - winter continues to exert "mission creep" and rob spring of some of its splendour. But the flowers are not to be bluffed, sharing their created glory in a rolling cascade of colour that opens up our eyes to another facet of the unseen beauty in our garden as we go through our first Spring in our home.

Anyway - the wonder on the face of a four year old, and the ensuing discussions about the happenings are tonic to the world weary soul. Unparalleled in a home empty of children, they refresh the spirit and bring a perspective to the day. Unfortunately the substitutionary companionship of the hound does lack somewhat in the intellectual interaction that a child's wonder brings.

I wonder how this equates to our Christian "childhood" and God's pleasure in sharing with us the wonder of his world. When do we loose that optimism and spirit of adventure in our walk of faith? Can we recapture it in both the natural and spiritual realm? Reading in Isaiah 54 this morning brought out the effort and reward available. A soul, left barren and bereft of blessing through stubborness, rebellion and unholiness can through discipline and repentance be restored - just as Israel was. Have I the strength to see past short term satisfaction to eternal consequence - ESHV.

Processing and Stimulation

Apparently I exhibit balanced hemispheric dominance and a strong visual preference - or so the survey says!

It is the intensity of my sensory preference which may more determine my learning style.

I absorb my environmnet, selecting out details and simultaneously embedding them in a context, an overall perspective which adds nuances of meaning. Given the prodigious rate that I input information, I naturally utilise the services of both hemispheres more or less equally.

I am active and searching, which produces energy. Because I can process multiple inputs comfortably, I do not experience the indecisions of a person with mixed sensory preference. I am able to focus on more than one aspect of a situation and push for resolution.

I can tolerate ambiguity, which is good since I will experience a lot of it due to my input style. While a part of me will always seek completion, the other part will accept the process as it is. I may occasionally get impatient with myself. I will always be able to work through problems in a logical sequence or given order, but I will have other options avialable to me as well.

I may find that I have insufficient time to reflect on my experiences and thus lose a sense of meaning, not appreciating my "inner being" as much as I might otherwise.

Many people would envy my combination of characteristics. Constantly seeking stimulation, I am artistic without needing to be "odd", an active learner and yet reasonably logical and disciplined.

Hmmmmmmmmm! - Thanks Steve, you have given me something to think about.

Andrew blogged, I read, I responded and ....

Andrew blogged, I read, I responded and ended up venting on the current situation. Below is the heart of my missive to him

He wrote

I hope your Saturday morning gives you rest and peace and HOPE for the rest of the week -- because ultimately, I affirm that its not the presence of the institutions and their suckage that =s The Nothing --- it's the seeping & creeping away of HOPE in the bustle of trying to keep up with the great Sucking....and i hope that rest & hope leaves you feeling God's

peace~


I wrote:

My friend, your summary gains concurrence from this part of the world. I have a weariness in my bones, an ache in my heart and an emptiness in my soul that has its foundation in the gravel rash ravished across my bare butt as "the system" drags me along.

Where is the pressure release, when is there time out? Are we victims of the system, or victims of our dreaming of a better way? When do we have the right to punch out, to blame the world for our woes and accept that this is not the way we were created to be? Or are we obliged to accept that we are in the world but not of the world (a challenge) when the world seeks to be all consuming of either our time or our attention (interesting connect to the time vs attention management discussion). Do we have the right to want to be released from this bondage - is this part of our curse after the fall? How can we "Be still and know that He is God"? When can we?

Priorities?!

I have little optimism today - my attitude is sapping my altitude - I spent the most glorious Saturday in the last six months, laying on a couch ill, while many priorities reserved for such a day went unattended. Last night I had four hours sleep - is this a bad time to be reflecting on the greater purpose of life?!

More questions than answers.

I trust that you are travelling well. Busy times, exciting moments, challenges for time, effort, mental energy. Kel has two weeks semester break, I am too weak and need a semester break!!

Spring descended with a passion on the weekend, but I was feeling shabby. The frustration. Today winter extends its tendrils into our fair season, with a gentle rain falling from a leaden sky outside - makes my mood easier to bear!!!

Still enjoying your passion for your craft - still searching for my own, passion and craft that is......

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12.5 %

My weblog owns 12.5 % of me.
Does your weblog own you?

I am disturbed that I am 2/3 as consumed as my blogging mentor, when his efforts are much more all encompassing than mine. It is scary what to think someone who is really consumed would be producing!

Tardiness, Apathy and the Reality of Life

Over two weeks and not a word has appeared. A saying we have in the military "Excuses are like (a certain part of the anatomy), everybody has one!" So no excuse, just the reality of a busy schedule and a lack of thinking space. However - attention management, not time management is the answer!!

Unlike my good friend, I do not have any renovation horror stories to account for the business of life, no flooded rooms (again). I have two wood fires that keep my chain saw busy, I have a half completed chicken run, several landscaping projects in conceptual stage, and a mitre drop saw that is yet to be calibrated.

But it doesn't matter because everything needs to be taken one step at a time!!!

Did I mention that my little run about currently sounds like a V8 Supercar? - booked in for a new muffler tomorrow; the 4WD needs a service - always painful in the hip pocket.

With this domestic to do list hanging over my head it thrilled my heart to go shopping on the weekend!- for a new couch and mattress!!! Oh the joys.

But it doesn't matter because everything needs to be taken one step at a time!!!

Hold versus Cling

Driving to church last Sunday we were listening on the radio to a message from an American preacher - Reggie Dabbs. Very powerful, left us sitting in the car park after we arrived, listening to the end instead of moving straight into church.

The rub came when he amplified the difference between Hold and Cling - we hold onto many things in our lives; a casual grip of convenience, including God. What do we cling to? What do we grip as if our lives depend on it?

Pastor then preached on Hold Fast - no coincidence, preordained confluence of thought!! When will we let go of the routine, mundane, domestic and cling to elements of our lives that have an eternal consequence?

We are given a birth date, we are given a date of death. On our tombstone nothing seperates the two save a tiny dash (-). That (-) makes all the difference.

Tail gating, slow trucks, impatient speeding and road rage

From the other day:

Tail gating, slow trucks, impatient speeding and road rage

I drive to work on single lane country roads that are rapidly seeing housing developments extended out from the city limits. Traffic can get quite heavy and impatient, especially around morning and afternoon peak hour. The other day I was driving to work and had been tail gated by a couple of cars who then overtook in a rather dangerous manner, cutting in at the last minute on a blind corner. In front of my was a large tip truck towing a trailer, which these two cars then proceeded to overtake in a similar manner. My frustration at their actions was mounting until God dispelled it in a manner that only he could achieve with his heavenly sense of humour. As we rounded the next corner a similar truck to that they had just overtaken was pulling out infront of the two cars from a side road, forcing them to quickly slow down and not affording them any opportunity to overtake.

When I caught up to the cars at the first set of traffic lights it really brought home to me the spiritual application. How often do we not trust God to judge both the just and the unjust. He knows what we need and he will deal with others as they need to be dealt with. I am often frustrated by this world but need to recognise that God is in charge and he carries the burden of judgement, punishment and accountability, not I. And that realisation certainly makes the occassional frustrations on the road a lot easier to bear.


A Call for Balance and Priorities
From Chucky's radio segment and monthly newsletter:

We Worship our Work
We Work at our Play
We Play at our Worship

- a personal challenge for balance. The world will try and draw us away from a balanced state. I must not be deceived.

A Call to Perfection:

I have recently been challenged on the requirement of being Called to Perfection in "all" areas of my life. God doesn't want to be compartmentalised in my life. He wants free reign. I limit what he can do with my life when I limit where he can go in my life.
Another self defeating strategy that needs to be addressed if I am to maximise the potential for my Heavenly Vision given the use of Earthly Sight.